A levels

A levels. That's a course where one attends to obtain an equivalent to a foundation. It all might sound that once you finish your form 5, there is not much to worry about. Once you enter a university or college, you can relax, you can start enjoying life.

I don't know why, but that's a lot of people point of view. They say that after form 5, college life is where the enjoying starts. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but that perception is extremely wrong. Recently, i'm starting to find that it is not easy. To give you a picture of how it is so different, more than half of my class got straight A or almost straight A. Most of them scored extremely well in form 5. When it comes to a levels, they find it extremely tough. So tough that, some of them decided to drop some subjects ( biology + physics ). Then, there are some who is willing to drop the whole a levels and go off to another program.

It is not as easy as it seems. The consistent study required to actually scored just an average is so much more than spm. In SPM, some can manage to study last minute and scored quite well, [ had a friend who last minute study for history and got an A+ ]. This only prove that you can do it quite last minutes. Some subjects like add math would seem impossible to do last minute. Maths is more of a practice subject so it is understandable.

In A level, for the science subjects like biology, the amount of information that needs to be learned and "vomit" out during an exams are horrible. The Cambridge text book provides little information ( Cambridge style of teaching ) where students are required to find further information and be tested in the exam. That's how sad it is. The original books are RM 100 ++, which are so expensive. To think that usually for a subject, student usually have more than 2 books related to just a subject.

That is where photostated books come in even if it is illegal. It just seems a little far fetched that so many students are able to get straight A's in taylors. I know it's not an easy feet. Just like in SPM where i didn't scored straight A and i know the reason. I didn't like the subjects I was studying that is why, i didn't bother going so hard on it. Now that all my subjects are related to my future university, I have to study and try to get straight A.

Cambridge have a new grading system now. They provide scores on your marks starting this year. I don't know if my batch is lucky or not. We were the one that started with sivik. We were also the batch that started with the A* system in SPM. Now in A level, we are the one starting with the marks right next to the results. How lucky is that.

There are not much people going into a levels and i know why. The number of people who went into a levels are most likely taking science subjects, but only to the extend where they are aiming for doctors, dentist, pharmacy and others. I wonder truly, that once they get the job they want, will they still continue the strive for knowledge on the world?

Like currently, i'm having a dilemma on which course should i take. I thought i have it sorted out by now, but it just don't seems to be that. Quite a number of people wants to be a doctor. There is also a number of people out there who asked if i wanted to be a doctor. Truly, i don't want to be a doctor. There is already so much doctors out there. I really want is to get more knowledge. I really would prefer to be a researcher. I want to learn more of the world. I don't want to get a job with just high pay. Seriously, i would want a job where i am required to constantly learn.

Then again, I do not think there is a job like that. Nobody would like to constantly study and learn about new knowledge for the fun of it. Not much people actually are like that. Once they are settle with life, it just goes on. Nothing happen. We as humans have gone through so much and yet, we do not encourage what makes us human. Curiosity.

Sick

Sickness. It's everybody weakness. It doesn't matter where you are from or which kind of race you are. Eventually, everybody is bound to get sick. Some people like them and most people hate them. To me, illness really took me hard a few days ago. It has cause me diarrhea, fever and lost of appetite. It was quite bad as I was alone when i'm staying in college.

Day 1

After i found out i have fever, i couldn't really mobile anymore. I feel quite dizzy and even if i could move. All i could do is just relax a little. I only ate a few biscuit that night. So after that, i just felt asleep. I just wanted a long sleep.

Day 2

My fever continued. Diarrhea gotten worst. I'm always getting gastric which obviously was due to me not eating anything. I continue to sleep. Around 11am like that, i receive a message that said that one of my college friend ( Yew Fung ) was going to visit me. I was actually quite surprise. I thought everybody would just forget about me. I didn't really think that anybody would actually think about my condition. He came and i was kinda grateful. The first familiar face i have seen in a whole day. The only thing was that he had to rush over to my place during his free lunch break just to visit me, which means that i kinda trouble him.

After his visit, i went to eat some porridge. I do not know why but the best porridge i have tasted is still the one back in kuching. I so miss that pork porridge. The taste is just incomparable. That the sad thing is that the next time that i can eat there might me a very long time from now. I visited the clinic, and they gave me some pills ( no antibiotics which they should have if not i would have been cured faster ). They suspected it was denggi but no mosquito stung me recently so I highly doubt it was that. I thought it was food poisoning as i had a stomach ache before i gotten the fever.

Day 3

The third day came and i still have my fever. Uncle kok ( my parents friends since they were in university [ more than 25 years friend ] ) came to visit me. He invited me to his house to rest. At first i thought, i don't want to trouble him, but in the end i went with him. I really wanted to get better before tomorrow because i have activities tomorrow. I really want to go for the talk on helpmun thing which was on the next day and also the band practice which i would not want to miss. When i got to his house, i found out that resting here would be better.

Aunty Kok bought me to see another doctor which finally gives me antibiotics. The doctor only gave 1 dose. I wasn't quite sure that 1 dose is enough. From what i have read in my biology textbook is that usually patient need to continue taking their antibiotic to prevent the bacteria from getting immunity. Then again, how can 1 dose do all that. I really wonder. I took the medication around dinner time. I had my skeptic but as long as i am not sick after that, who cares about immuned bacteria.

Day 4

I woke up and i find that i feel so much better. The only problem was that i was having a lot of gas in my stomach which was quite bad. I still couldn't eat much because there are quite a lot of gas accumulated in my stomach. I wish that i could get rid of it but i'm not sure how. I still felt weak because i couldn't eat anything. I got a lot of gastric because when i ate alittle, i couldn't eat anything much if not i would vomit it out. I didn't go college as i also have sick left. I didn't manage to attend the activity i was suppose to attend.

Day 5

I woke up and i wanted to go college, Unfortunately i was kind of slow and Aunty kok went off to work. So, i waited for Uncle kok to wake up for work ( he was always kinda late ). So anyway, he bought me to breakfast where i ate a little and go off to college. Everybody quite shock at me appearing back in college so early. I only came back for my homework. The last time a few people was absent for a few days, the maths teacher manage to finish a whole chapter in 2 days which i was quite worried the same thing will happen to me.

Luckily, only around half of the class is only there so the maths teacher gave a free period and biology teacher did the same. We just talk all the way thought. It was good to catch up i guess.. During the night, finally the gas in my stomach got release... Although it was not really polite, i practically farted and was grateful i did. After that, i felt so much better.

That was how my 5 days ordeal was. Although it was not great, it was not suppose to be, i know what am i suppose to do when i get sick. To those others who are still with parents, you better appreciate them. When u leave home to stay in another place, they will not be there to help you especially when you are sick.

New Year

The new year is here.. We are all leaving 2009 and entering 2010. We are all embracing the future. The future for each of us. From preparing ourself from starting school again, or preparing to start working. We are all going to have to deal with it eventually. For those who just ended their school holiday, They might think that the holiday is too short. Some are quite worried to enter school again as they are going to have to met with teachers they hate or lose their freedom.

For me, the new year brings a lot of joy yet sadness. For one, exactly 10 days from now, i am going to have to leave kuching and go off to college. Well, i can't say it is such a bad thing. For one, i will be able to further my study which is actually a good thing. I always wanted to learn more about the world since what my biology teacher ever say once that our biology in secondary school is too simple and general. I do wonder what does it feel like to actually learn the details of everything.

When one reaches a stage where they are leaving secondary school, some of them might feel extremely sad. Well, for me, i feel a little sad. To me, it is actually suppose to be adapted to the condition. I don't know about others, but i have experience it too many times. In primary school, i left all my friends and entered a school ( SMK batu Lintang ) with very little people from my old primary school.

It was kind of sad to begin with, but what can we do? It is after just another process in ones life. You can't do anything about it. We all eventually have to go our seperate ways. Clinging to the past will not do anything to help us with our pain of losing our friends. NO. We have to continue moving forward.

The new year is the beggining of the year. We have to chance it make it better than the others even if we have just been throught a hard year. We have to improve ourself. That is the reason why we have new year resolution. It is to make sure that in that year, we have done what we have aim for. To make sure we achieve the goal we set ourself in the begining of the year. I believe that is the reason why. Even if one didn't manage to achieve his goal, at least he tried to achieve it even thought it sounds imppossible.

Happy New Year anybody who is reading this, remember to make ur new year resolutions. ^_^

SPM revelation

SPM is coming soon. Now that PMR is going on. Sometimes are starting to get into my thought about SPM. This so called most important test in the world seems to have a lot of faults. There are sometimes that just very hard to fathom.

First of all, if it was all that important, how come there are subjects such as moral which until now i have not heard of anything that relate to that in university. Science subjects such as chemistry, there are chemist, biology have biologist. There are also language where teachers teach language. How the big question, how about moral? Where the heck do you find something call " Moral knowledge" ?

There has been a lot of times i have stress that moral is really just a waste of tax payers's money. So much effort is put to "teach" teachers how to teach moral in school and how to mark the paper. When it comes to the marking skim. It looks even more stupid. Ask any form 4 or 5 and they can gladly tell you that moral and formula and sentences and words you need to put in. Without them, let's just say, passing is extremely hard even if the term moral is actually counted as the lesson learn from an event or most of us know it as good value or something like that.

As most moral teacher, it comes to the formula and memorizing all of the words to score good grades. The more i see it, the more i find it quite pointless. Sometimes, i even wonder why they even made it that way. A subject which teacher can't even teach properly. Heck with this moral subject, students lie even more. The moral projects that the moral teacher ask students to do are actually all lies. Anybody who have done the project can say proudly that the pictures are all fake.

The worst part is that the teacher actually encourage it. The teacher even tell the students how are they suppose to act so that the pictures are more realistic and look convincing even thought it is not. Can you believe it? the things they teach in school?

Next to moral, sivik is also an even more pointless subject. Just google sivik and you will know that most results are from Malaysia. It mainly involves anything that happens in the country. Everything just seems so odd these days. I can say, Malaysian are learning 2 unnecessary subjects which can be benefited if other subjects are learn instead. If Malaysian have the opportunity to choose what subjects they can take, some of them should involve science. Earth science also known as geoscience should be included in malaysian secondary school. It mainly involves around the science that happen on earth.

Geography should really be available for all students to take. I remember that time, i ask this guy about the location of Australia. Believe it or not, he thinks it's in America and Europe. Unbelievable. To think of all the years of learning the countries, a simple nearby country such as Australia, they don't even know. It just shows how bad it has all turn out.

These subjects that most are taking in public school makes you think about the purpose of studying them. I sometimes even wonder how the heck they manage to come up with the weirdest subjects with so call purpose of theirs. For example, according to them, Sivik is a way to teach people how to behave better and know more about the country. Well, being the first generation who took sivik, i can say, there is no differences. I only realize how pathetic the country is to have to make another subject when it has gotten moral and to make everybody study about it. In those subjects, we study about things that most of us don't even care when we leave school.

In form 1, i remember when the teacher teach sivik. He can make the whole class sleep in 5 minutes of talking. It only proves how boring and unnecessary is the subject, until know, i don't even know what the subject is all about. I only know it is a waste of time and money.

I hope others realize this earlier before they start celebrating about Malaysia. It gives you second thoughts before you start saying i Love Malaysia.

History

History as many put it, is very important. According to some, if you don't know your own roots, you don't know where you are going. History is applied in many ways. It can be just remembering your birthday or remembering about global events. There is a few things i have seen that i just feel that something is wrong.

One of the few things is the fact that when it comes to history written in the book. It is always very inaccurate and full of things that some of us might find just stupid and tell the truth. They are only saying what they want us to hear. History is one of the most racism subject there is in the whole world. It doesn't speak of the full story. Mainly due to the fact that history is written by people's idea of how things happen and how things are suppose to be.

For example, our Malaysian Form 5 text book mention that Malaysian don't have diplomatic relationship with Israel just because they mention that they are against Palestine. Half of what they are saying is so FAKE. I mean, the only reason why that happen is just because Palestine is Islam and Israel is mainly Jews and Christianity. In the History text book, it also mention that Malaysia is against judging people by skin colour that is currently happening in Africa. It only prove that they are just a group of politic hypocrites. In Malaysia, they are judging people by religion. That's worst.

I can't even believe that this is happen to the world around us. This is one of the reason why i think that politic is just rubbish. I barely see them do anything that is helpful. They are just making laws that usually benefits themselves. Why can't we all live under 1 leader. Is that so hard? With a lot of nation comes a lot of disagreement and a lot of wars.

To begin with, The first world war was cause by Germany who wanted more resources. My gosh, it is really just a waste. Why can't we just world together in one world as a species. I can't even believe that the start of the war was because of a couple murdered by a terrorist. That cause the death of so many people. War has practically wasted a lot of our resources on what? To prove that the other country is better than the other? It is just a waste. Rubbish i say.

There is this book i have read before, it is call crime code. It refers to the reason of war and crime to the drive of man to want to have adventure and to conquer. At the end of the story, they have manage to make a peaceful country because they have eliminated the reason for war and live in harmony.

Why can't we be like that? As a species, we work together to achieve something that means something. At the rate we continue as a species, it can be expected that we ourself will manage to destroy the entire planet. It would be something unthinkable but that is what we currently are doing. Overpopulation is one of the reason why.

That is the reason why i feel that the so called doomsday that will cause the world to end is actually a good thing for the planet. When they say the Apocalypse is coming, it is actually only referring to us as a species. Us going away. Life will continue regardless of what happen to humanity. We are the one who is causing the mass extinction. We are the reason why forest are cut down. We are the one who cause the planet irreversible damage to the planet.

I am actually quite happy for us, humans to just dissapear. In 200 years time when humans are gone, the world will look like a planet that is new. Our structures, our footprints will be gone with the wind. Til that day comes, i will be glad that soonner or later, we will be history instead of most of the animals.

Unexpected....

Unexpected.. When life seems to be at it's best. It seems that something just come and sweep u off the floor. My brother, Yong Han, who most know is in hospital for a disease. This disease is call Systemic Lupus Erthematosus, short for SLE. It is a Chronic autoimmune connective tissue disease. It just means that his antibodies are attacking his cells/ tissue which causes damage.

It just seem like it was a few weeks ago, where me and my brother was playing together on computer. Helping each other in playing. Now, that he is sick and the fact that he has not gotten any proper treatment considering that both specialist ( one in Normah hospital and one in General Hospital ) is away on leave, my brother has to be taken to another place to be treated.

He is going off to Singapore tomorrow to get treatment. Father ( who went off to Germany for a business trip ) is now in Singapore looking for the doctors and sorting out the accommodation and Mother is sorting everything out so that my brother can get to Singapore tomorrow. Both of them are going to leave or is at Singapore currently.

It just feels that everything seems so much pressure around. I just can't bare to think about what might happen if things go wrong. And i have a feeling.. Something will.. In times like this, i wish that i could do something to help. Then again, knowing that, in this kind of situation, i am just going to be a nuisance in all of this just make things worst. At times like these, when u think, why the world is so cruel?

Then the thought just hit you. The world has ever change. It has always been like that. Disease, accidents. It is all just "coincidence" as some might call it. I wish that everything will be gone. Knowing that this disease is not going to go away makes me even more worried. I thought that this kind of thing, like cancer or some other disease would only affect others not my Family. Then again, when my Mom decided to get all 4 of us to go blood test. It is found that all of us have elevated levels of glucose in our blood.

I can only conclude that life is not perfect.. It just seems that when everything is right, when everything seems so perfect, that is when the world just tumble on you. You just can't stand it. Wishing that these things would go away, wishing that sometimes, let other do it. But, it will not go away. Knowing this fact, sucks alot.

Now that, my parents will depend on me alot regarding my brother condition. I feel quite under pressure. More responsibility for me to handle at home. Considering that currently, there is no parents at home, and it could go on for quite a few days scare me quite alot. I don't even think it is safe in my home even throught i have live here since i was born. It feels as if somebody is watching or somebody else is at home.

I can only pray that these disease has not gotten into such a serious stage. If it does, well.. I can't say i didn't foresee it. I just can't imagine what i would do if that happen and i don't want to think that much. Life would be horrible for my brother. That is all i can say. And, i hope, whoever who is reading this, could pray for my brother safety in his treatment, that everything would be all right. That even throught it is an uncurable disease, that he will live a normal life just like anybody.

The World

The world is starting to change. Everything is starting to change. From the people attitude to people and to society itself.

I have notice that recently, from what i have heard in school, there are always a lot of problem with friends. Friends getting angry. Not to mention, there are even cases where people fight over stupid things and ending a relationship just like that. It is quite hard to believe that the world and ended up like it is currently. I remember just a few years ago. Everybody was all right. Everybody know and respected each other. Now if I were to compare to the same class but different year. That is already gone.

I remember 3 years ago in 2G, nothing much has happen. Problems with friends that happen in class were minimum. I don't remember obscene things happening in the class ranging from people touching each other ass to dirty talk. It just show that society and the modern day influence is just horrible.

I just read a few minutes ago that 2G which is currently known as mesra have all these problems about people scolding and doing stupid things. I personally don't believe that any of this is actually necessary. Even the fact that they publish what they think about a guy on the internet. It just goes to show that people barely do it manually by just saying it on the spot. They just are not capable of doing that now. They rather just express it on the net.

The world is becoming a hostile place for something like an honest relationship. Friendship. I barely see that exist anymore. Hardly, do u see students now a days doing something sincere. Doing something honest and trustable to friends. Insult is something all too normal now a days.

Students now a day still willing start the game call "Dating". According to me, it just not right dating at this age. Nothing is right about it. I know that some people will say that i am saying this just because i have never dated and there is a reason too. I heard that people just cannot stick to their own principle. Their own rule they have created for themselves.

They have never bother to think about the consequences from their action and their words. They would do stupid things such as hanging out in school and with friends they don't even trust that much as their friends. They want to belong in the modern world. Then again, it is not even right. They don't really have true friends. They are just trying to fit in. They might hate what they are doing but at the end of the day, the main point is just to have someone there.

To know that somebody is there. They have to realize that things are not meant to be like that. It is suppose to be sincere, honest and truth friends. That is something the world lag off.

The influences of these internet and blogging has just gone over board. There are a lot of things that i have seen that parents spoilt there kids. I have seen it a lot. Ranging from camps and from people i see everyday.

Walking past some of them, i just can't bare they fact that they are just so spoilt. I can't even believe that their parents can watch their own son or daughter becoming so spoilt. It is unimaginable. I can see that everything the lower forms are just getting worst and worst. I will not doubt it, in a few years time if i come back to SMK Batu Lintang after my further study. I don't think i will know this school anymore.

There are so many changes that have happen since i have entered the school. It seems like a terrible nightmare to see the very school which i have seen as quite ok to becoming a dump. Just like an apple with a worm in it. It might look quite ok form the outside, but slowly as the worm eat the apple inside, it will become rotten. Soon, when the worm is exposed, it will be too late.